Remember when you went through that difficult break up when you were younger?
You know what I mean - you were in love.
He/she was your soulmate.
You were going to be together FOREVER.
But then - you started to notice that they didn't seem the same as they were at the start.
In the beginning - They wanted to be around you all the time....
Always putting you first...making time for you...
But after a while....
It 's clear they weren't as into you as you were into them.
You started to feel a knot in your stomach.
KNOWING something was coming.
"we need to talk" - he/she said (over the phone and not in person obviously....)
Fast forward a few days and you're sitting face to face....you know it's not good.
"This isn't working out....it's not YOU, it's ME..."
You see the clever reverse psychology trick here is that they gave off the impression that "it" not working out was their fault.
THEY framed it as taking ALL the responsibility so that you could walk away feeling ok with the fact you'd been dumped!
(When in actual fact you absolutely needed to take 100% responsibility for the decisions you made and actions you took....)
In my line of work in the sport & fitness however - people who don't want to mind their health & fitness can try to take a slightly different approach with me.
And trust me when I say I've been listening to this stuff for years.....
Person - "It's not going to work. It's not me, it's you David...."
David - "Ok, tell me more....."
Person - "I'm too busy, your times don't suit"
David - "I understand. I've 5 kids. I work for myself and work VERY long hours sometimes 7 days a week at times. The reality is - and without being flippant. We're ALL busy. If you're waiting until you are not 'busy' to mind your health you'll be waiting a LONG time.....In the end though - you have to make a decision. To prioritise. To put your health & fitness ahead of Netflix box sets, social media & weekend/bank holiday/summer/christmas/birthday/sporting event/bar mitzvah nights out. Also - We've 45+ sessions per week. On the hour every hour at peak times. As early as 6am, as late as 7:15pm Monday to Friday plus sessions on Saturday mornings...If you WANT to train with us, we've made it easy for you to work around your busy schedule"
Person - "I don't like the gym"
David - "Ok. Do you honestly enjoy being weak, unfit, out of breath walking upstairs & unhealthy though? Also - all our members don't 'like' the gym - but they've made a promise to themselves though. To do what needs to be done. To make promises to themselves and keep them. To take care of their health & fitness before it takes care of them. You don't have to like the gym. It's a means to an end. I can promise you though that our 'gym' is as relaxed, warm and welcoming as it gets....."
Person - "It's too expensive"
David - "€10-15 for a Group PT session isn't expensive - Also taking care of your health and fitness is an investment in your future self. Your ability to live a long and healthy life. To stay strong, healthy, mobile & independent. To stay out of the doctors & expensive surgeries in hospital when you are older. Trust me when I say that being unfit & unhealthy in later life is WAY more expensive."
Person - "Working in a group isn't for me"
David - "I understand that you might be a little apprehensive about joining a new group or community. But I can honestly say that our community of 35/40+ parents is very welcoming. We also allow a max of 10 people to 1 coach so that you get loads of personal attention on the way in and during your sessions. Also - if you prefer 121 Personal training, it's going to cost you €50+ per hour and is WAY less fun. (Word of warning - If you are being charged less than that - you WILL get what you pay for....)
Person - "The style of training isn't what I want"
David - "With the greatest respect - I'm a trainer/coach with 15+ years experience, knowledge & expertise. I know what the difference is between Strength & Conditioning. I know the difference between strength, power, endurance & hypertrophy (toning)....I also know that you have to train these things differently - in other words it's not WHAT you do in the gym but HOW you do it. If you want expert support & guidance you should probably trust me to design, plan & implement a training program that is progressive ad actually works for you and isn't just a list of exercises thrown together. You should also trust the fact that I also know you want to have fun so will ALWAYS factor that into your training sessions. Plus - you've been doing circuits, boxercise, bootcamps and spinning for years - if you want to tone up, shape up and improve your physical & mental wellbeing - you NEED strength training!"
Here's my final 2c for today.
If you've been putting your training off or have not prioritised your health & fitness even though you KNOW you should have.
Instead of playing the "it's not me it's you game...."
Maybe try to accept that to improve your health & fitness it might be time to park the excuses, to prioritise and to make a commitment to yourself.
David "broken heart" Knowles...
P.S. Think of the positive impact you could make on your health & fitness in just 6 weeks. Here's the link to sign up: https://www.evolutis.ie/get-started.html
David Knowles is the founder of Evolutis, Dad x 5 & wannabe singer songwriter!